[Publisher’s note: This story won Second Place in the inaugural Speck of Fancy themed flash fiction writing contest.]
The viewing window curved inwards with a foreign planet beyond filling near to the edges. Teal waterways, too many to count, separated what must be thousands of islands along its surface, while white wispy clouds ever-so-casually drifted to an unseen current, giving the planet depth.
The impossibly detailed sight captured Lawrl’s attention fully. He had no thoughts or worries and only relished the feeling of awe surging through him. It felt warm. Terrifying. Had he ever seen something so wonderful? He wasn’t sure. But he felt he had been staring for a long time.
A voice from his left, a man he hadn’t realized was there. “Sixty three years and they’re finally letting us down. Imagine how much further we’d be without the politics? But I suppose someone has to make money.”
Lawrl turned his head and saw a short stranger. The man was thin with dark hair that had only a few strands of gray pushing through. He could have been forty or a hundred and ten, who knew anymore? But the man didn’t hold Lawrl’s interest long. He turned back to the sight provided by the window.
The oblivious man spoke up again. “Which group are you with?”
The term didn’t register with Lawrl. He had no idea what the man was talking about.
“Group four, here.” He said, and Lawrl’s teeth smashed together. Couldn’t he be left alone to not think for a minute, not try to remember what day it was, and just enjoy the beautiful sight before him?
“I wanted one, like everyone, but four’s a good position. I’ll be going down in a month. Oh.” And at his change in tone, Lawrl turned. The man was looking at Lawrl’s wrist. “Seventeen? Sorry friend, that’s hard luck. Last group, right? The one with that lady and her human baggage? Rough time, that.”
Lawrl glanced down at his wrist and saw an odd bracelet there. He didn’t remember ever buying one. It suddenly felt uncomfortable, grasping his wrist like a restraint. The man speaking next to him had one too, with a four shown on the display.
“I guess I am.” Lawrl said, rubbing the bracelet. “I’m having trouble right now, because of, I think the—” and he gestured out the window.
The man didn’t turn to the planet. Instead his eyes stayed on Lawrl in a way that made his skin itch, his feet shift. Lawrl should know why he had this bracelet on, should know what the man was talking about. But he had been so captivated by the planet he had some sort of memory lapse. He laughed then, and the man flinched.
“I guess I just don’t remember.” Lawrl said at the same moment a child squeezed between him and the window, pressing against him for a moment, then continuing his run. A giggle followed his fleeing form.
“Have you seen?” Lawrl started, then paused, unsure what he was going to ask. Michael. The name came from nowhere, but with it a host of responsibilities and feelings. How the hell could he forget his son? Where was Michael? And there was another name, just at the edge of his vision.
“Seen?” the man said, his eyes hadn’t stopped their examination of Lawrl’s face even when the child squeezed through them. “Oh God. I’m an idiot, friend. Sorry. About the comment earlier. I’m sorry.” He did look away then, before turning back to Lawrl. “I think I need to go and find my group. I’m sorry!”
Lawrl let the man leave. He had been nothing but a nuisance, anyway. But where was Michael? Lawrl turned from the window – somewhat regretfully – and his breath caught. There must have been a hundred people in the room with him. He hadn’t registered it before, but a buzz and hum he had been ignoring descended on his ears. A shiv of anxiety sunk deep into his chest. Some were at tables, eating or playing some sort of games. Others moving through the room, pausing at tables or just making their way through.
How was he going to find Michael here?
“Dad?” He heard a woman’s voice close by, but didn’t turn. Every space between tables and legs he searched, trying to catch a glimpse of Michael.
“Dad? There you are.” A hand grasped his arm just above his elbow. He nearly jerked away, but the touch felt intimate and the woman that stepped familiarly close to him had a kind smile and face he almost recognized. Like his Anna’s. Another name he felt ashamed to have forgotten.
The woman’s soft smile barely reached her eyes though, and if asked he would have said her eyes were sad.
“You can’t wander off, Dad.”
And he knew her name then, if not her face. Eleia. This was Eleia. Then Michael is…
“Where’s Michael?” Lawrl said, and the woman – Eleia – closed her eyes, squeezing them shut. He saw something there – something that terrified him, a wall of pain and regret so tall he could feel the shadow of it falling over him.
“Dad. Come, please. We have to check-in soon.”
That shadow turned into a silhouette of meaning and his legs nearly collapsed.
“Micahel’s gone.” He whispered.
Lawrl stared past the woman – Eleia – the memories flooding in. He saw Eleia as a child, held her, and told her it would be alright. He remembered feeling he had to be strong for her, while her mother (Anna) barely left her room. Eleia had been old enough to understand, but young enough to still need a parent, and why did it have to be his responsibility? He had to hold everything in to hold her hand for their walks along the quiet path behind their house. She had asked her questions, and he had answered as clearly as he could because she was smart, his Eleia, and needed the truth.
It wasn’t God, he had said, at least he didn’t think so. And it wasn’t evil. It was just a terrible accident. Her face had squeezed into itself then, and he held her, assured her if she wanted to cry, they could cry together. I miss him too, he had said.
The woman’s fingers dug painfully into his arm, pressing into his bone, squeezing still harder. It made him focus. The younger Eleia was gone. The older squeezed her eyes shut. She reminded him so much of his child.
“Dad, we can’t do this right now.” she breathed, barely audible. Then she looked up. “That was long ago. Our group has a meeting and I need to get there. Can you – can you come with me?”
A bracelet on her wrist chirped. A second later, his did as well. She glanced at her wrist, sighed, her head going back, eyes rolling. She took a deep breath staring at the ceiling, just like when she was a child.
“Dad. Listen. Stay here. OK?” And she pointed to the window “Just stay right here. I’ll be back.”
She glanced over her shoulders three times before reaching the exit. Other people in the room quieted to watch her leave. Some turned his way. He wanted to shout at them, they hadn’t made a scene, why were they so interested? But something felt wrong and it made him unbalanced, unsure.
Why were they here? Why was he? He should have asked — the woman.
The curious eyes now resting on him made him shake like he was cold. Lawrl turned away from them and found a great concave window to the outside. He gasped.
“Dementia after abiding life. So terrible.” Someone said behind him.
In front of him was a huge planet filling nearly to the window’s edges, bright teal water spreading through a numberless amount of islands, like cracks in tempered glass. Never in his life had he seen something so beautiful.
“It’s a chance we all take. One in ten thousand?” Another said, quieter than the first. It didn’t matter, both distracted Lawrl from fully enjoying the view.
“Something like that. Should put them down instead of keeping around forever.”
He almost turned then, to see who they were talking about, to tell them to be quiet, but it was a fleeting thought that quickly lost power to the sight below. The slightly concave window gave view to a planet like nothing he’d ever seen before. It held his attention until not another thought crossed his mind.
[End]
